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An abusive relationship destroys you; your heart feels as if it were the remains of a war. A person is very vulnerable when they come out of such a relationship. They have been hurt way too many times to be able to put themselves back together again on their own. You will need help from people who love you and care for you. You will have to learn to trust and open up to people, all over again, just as you did when you were a toddler.



The journey to self-healing is hard and long, it takes a person time to be able to find their true identity. They lose their spirituality after they have been in an abusive relationship. Abuse takes away your light bit by bit; darkness consumes you to a point of dismay. The most dangerous thing a human can lose is hope. When we lose hope, the world feels pointless and you let your self drown in a sea of self-loathe. You consider yourself responsible for things you had no control over. This is exactly what happens in an abusive relationship.

You lose interest in yourself and life to a point that you don’t want to live anymore. Why aren’t there trauma centers for people who have been in such relationships? I have broken many bones but believe me; mental abuse hurts a lot more than physical abuse.

The struggle to leave such a relationship is your last try to stop yourself from drowning into the pit of never-ending despair. There isn’t much of a fight left in you after that. If you are lucky, the abuser let go of you! It might hurt initially but trust me, it’s the best thing that can ever happen to you.

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1. Call your family

No matter how distant you are from them, the family will always be there for yours. Call your parents and tell them to take you away, ask them if they would let you spend a month with them. This time will put you back together again; it will remind you of all the beautiful moments you once spent with them. Remembrance of love and care will work wonders on your broken soul.

2. Reach out to your friends

Your friends will help you connect with the outer world again. You will smile and laugh in their presence, something you haven’t been able to do since ages.

They will make you feel that there is more to life than a havoc-wreaking relationship! Friends are the most beautiful creatures on earth, they are not your family by blood they are your family by the soul.

Your friends will heal your soul and you will feel the difference.

3. Get a Job

No, it’s never too late to get a job, get a job right away even if it’s a small one, you will not be able to put yourself together again unless you are completely independent. Financial stability will make you feel more confident than ever, you don’t need a human to support your existence. You are strong enough to support yourself.

4. Get Counseling

You might keep telling yourself that you don’t need any additional help, but if you have been abused to an extent that you lost the ability to care for yourself, get help right away. Depending on your condition, the counselor might recommend medication or meditation.

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5. Get a pet

You need to start trusting and caring for people again and the best way you can do that is by getting yourself a pet. Remember, a pet is a huge responsibility and you need to care for it just as you want to be cared for yourself. I would suggest a cat, cats are great for people with depression, caressing and brushing your cat will help you unwind and relax.

6. Get your own place

Get your own place somewhere near your parent’s house or, if you cannot afford one with your own pay, ask them if they will let you rent the room you live in. You need to know that you will now be able to support yourself completely. You don’t need a human to take care of you.

7. Work around the house

Help your parents with all the chores, not only will they keep you busy but they will also help you get your mind off things. Your parents will appreciate the extra help around the house and it will help you guys bond better. Plus, a sense of accomplishment will really help boost your self-esteem.

8. Take a vacation

Go on a vacation, you need to learn to appreciate the beauty of the world in order to help you live once more. The world is waiting to be discovered.

9. Interact with neighbors

Go for a walk around the neighborhood, smile and enjoy life a little, get to know the people who live around you.

10. Work on yourself

Save up for some new clothes and a trip to the saloon. Change how you look, wear lipstick and dye your hair. You have no idea how confident you will feel once you look good. People will notice you and it will feel amazing!

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11. Improve your health

Start working out and get back into shape, such a relationship can ruin your physical health, and you need to be able to trust your body again just like you once did.

12. Put yourself our there

You might want to open up to the idea of dating again. Chances are, you will now be able to be in more stable relationships since you will be able to detect early signs of abuse.

I hope that you are able to live life to its fullest. May you become a better, stronger person than you ever were!


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